"The Tale of Two Cities"

Oscar Wilde once said “Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship, and then also something about how they end but I can’t be bothered to think about that.”

(Nick, a fellow trainee, trying to be studious)

I think, anyways. I might not be remembering it quite right. Anyways I hope he was right about that first bit, because we make so many mistakes here the only thing to do is just laugh at it all. Everyday is typically a comedy of errors that even Moe, Curly, and Larry couldn’t conjure. Allow me to provide Exhibit A. About a week ago in our language class (which we have for 6 hours a day Monday through Thursday) we were told to make a handful of questions & ask them to our partner. We’d just been doing vocab on cities or “град”. So I said “Okay I got this, I’ll incorporate the new vocab” and then asked “Do you like big cities or small cities” in Macedonian.

Except I didn’t. Making things plural in Macedonian is tricky business. “град” actually means just “city”. I tried to add a “и” to the end, which long story short makes approximately 70 % of Macedonian words plural (basically like adding a “s” or “es” in English). If you’ve ever learned a second language it’s quite possible you have a feeling for what came next.

(Skopje, with a statue of Alexander the Great in the back)

Turns out “гради” doesn’t mean cities. “Градови” means cities. “гради”, by some cruel prank of the gods, translates to breasts. As in the type we dedicate October & the color pink to. In front of my language instructor, I asked my classmate “Do you like big breasts or small breasts?” In my defense, the classmate thought it meant cities too, and was about to unwittingly answer “I like the big’uns”.


Also, hello everyone! I am, infact, alive and thriving(ish). Sorry for falling behind on my two-week schedule – PST has been a whirlwind from the get go. I’m starting to settle into a routine, and feel confident I can keep to said two-week schedule going forward. So, let me update you on what’s happened since I left the Savannah airport.

A brief timeline:

1. I got to D.C & Staging. It was five hours, of which my most vivid memory is doing that painful icebreaker where everyone goes in a circle saying their name & an interesting fact. Which of course we all promptly forgot.
2. We left for Macedonia the next morning. The 9-hour flight to Vienna was painful. The fun part though was that Peace Corps volunteers took up the entirety of the back half of the plane. 
3. When we arrived in Macedonia we were immediately assaulted by a brigade of bright-eyed & buoyant staff members. Which was a hilarious juxtaposition, because God knows we sure didn’t look like the new generation of well-vetted & skilled volunteers. If I was on staff I think I’d have whispered to the nearest person “This was the best we could find?” 

(One of the numerous stray kittens in Macedonia)

We got shepherded to busses outside & shipped off to our orientation site near Tetovo within about 10

minutes of landing. The cohort spent about a week at that site for our introductory orientation. Basically it felt like Peace Corps way of slowly dipping our toes into the water before yelling “SURPRISE” and kicking us in. Which is essentially what happened once we got shipped to our training communities at the end of the week. In the time since I’ve arrived, my primary communication style can be described as an elegant blend of wild gesticulation and broken Macedonian.

As far as where I actually am, I’ve been in the central Vardar region of Macedonia with 7 other trainees for the last 3 weeks. Why so vague about the area I’m in? Because I’m a spy – duh.

Turns out that’s a somewhat common stereotype of Peace Corps Volunteers & Trainees. A few (emphasis on “few” and not “all”) people apparently think we’re here to gather intelligence. Which, honestly, I take as a compliment. The idea that someone could mistake me for a spy is the highest evaluation of my human capital I’ve ever received. I can barely cook breakfast for myself, much less be an agent of espionage. Of course, maybe that’s just what I want people to think. That’s probably what I’ll tell my future wife everytime I burn something.

Speaking of breakfast, let me tell you about the food here.

(The weekly "farmers market", where people
sell everything from tomatoes to shoes)

It’s amazing. People buy fresh peppers, cucumbers, onions, tomatoes, & etc straight from small farmers markets. Or they just grow it themselves. I’m 99 % confident I’m eating more fruits & vegetables than I was in the States. Back home my vegetable intake was directly correlated to the number of hamburgers I ate (approximate relationship of 1 piece of lettuce to 1 hamburger rate of consumption), whereas here I have a salad every day. Also tomatoes are crunchy/crisp here. So ponder that for a moment, because I’m honestly still a little confused and I’ve been here a month. Not like Fritos Chips crunchy, but more akin to a strawberry.

What else with food? Well, there’s a dozen things I could mention but I’d be doing a disservice to the country if I didn’t bring up Ayvar (also sometimes written as Ivar in English, with it’s proper Macedonian/Cyrillic name being “ајвар”).

It’s an insidiously delicious red pepper-based spread that you can put on pretty much anything your heart desires. Which is dangerous, because you’re going to want to. I haven’t yet discerned the secret ingredient, but I’ve a growing suspicion it’s an addictive substance with how quickly every American has taken to it (myself included). I’m imagining a situation like Coca-Cola pre-1904. Science would dictate my next step is to conduct an experiment & note the results. I’m thinking I’ll remove the dish from everyone’s home & see how society devolves. I may end up causing a “Purge” situation as neighbors fight to claim the last remaining Ayvar, but achievement will be made in the name of progress. 

(A jar of "Ayvar")

There’s honestly so much more to talk about, but I’m trying to keep myself from rambling for too long. If anyone has anything they really want to know about, please feel encouraged to message me! Also, check out the photos section soon – I’m working on adding a variety I've taken since arriving in country. I hope everyone is doing wonderfully!